Living the Dream...

Getting Real, Finding Me

2012-02-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

When I decided that I needed to make some changes in my life I never knew what path it would lead me down. 2011 was all about changes. I left a steady {really good, great position} job, ended a 6 year relationship, spent a short time trying a new job venture then realizing it wasn't right and decided that I needed to lose at least 30 pounds by my 30th birthday.

{image via}

Many of us hide behind masks, facades, we paint pretty pictures of what our life "looks" like and never really show the hurt, pain, self loathing that we carry on the inside. I was one of those people. I am sure to some of you that read this, that statement may surprise you. How does the girl who seemingly has it all...amazing family, great friends, educated, fabulous career and on and on hate herself so much? I want to clarify...I don't hate myself, but I have hated my body for 20 years. I know I am a beautiful, intelligent, warm, loving, caring, loyal and passionate person. I put my self worth and identity in my career, relationships and whether men liked me or not. When I found myself without the things that I thought made "Mandy" I knew that I was placing my self worth in the wrong places. I had to start healing from the inside out. I have been my worst critic, biggest punisher, stress maker, and hater. I never let up on myself, pushing and pushing until I had nothing left to give.

At my lowest point I decided that the only thing I could control and change was my weight. I had been in a body that I HATED for far too long. I had faced two of the hardest things that I had been through and lived. It took saying good bye to everything I thought was important to know that I could mentally handle FINALLY dealing with my silent demon. I knew that I needed someone strong to push me, to not let me quit, to not let me run the show, that would always be honest yet be able to motivate me and make me feel good in the process. Finding Jonathon has been a life saver. In November 2011 we began my short term, six month goal to lose 30 pounds.

At first I wanted to prove wrong...

- the little boy who first told me I was "fat" in fifth grade
- the girls who made fun of me for wearing a size 13 in 7th grade
- the guy friend who told my 10th grade boyfriend that I had such a pretty face but my body needed a lot of work
- the guy I liked that said I should never show my legs in public
- the college BF who broke up with me because he saw himself with someone who "looked more like a model"
- the HS girl that couldn't believe that the "overweight" girl had such a high position in a fashion company
- the people that looked at me as the "fat" Christiansen sister

But then I realized what I was carrying around with me. It wasn't just actual weight but emotional baggage that was weighing me down. I couldn't believe that I was holding onto all of those things from so long ago. I had double the "weight" to shed. I finally understood that the reason I could never lose the body weight before was because I wasn't ready to let go of my emotional issues. If I lost the weight than I lost my excuses. I would have to stop running and face me. We all know that dealing with the stuff inside is always harder. So for the first time, it became about me.

Now I want to prove to myself...
- that weight is just a number and that number doesn't define me
- that even when I want to quit I won't because I see results
- that sacrifice and discipline are amazing qualities to have
- that I WILL hit my goal, and the next one and the next one
- that I can be as successful in weight loss as I was in climbing the corporate ladder
- that I deserve to love myself and that I HAVE to, before I can let someone else love me
- that investing in myself makes me a better and stronger person
- THAT I AM WORTH IT

{image via}

If you don't know me personally, or haven't spoken to or been around me for years, then you don't know that I am a very open person. I am very real, a fighter, strong, intelligent and confidant in the person that I have become. I have a fashion blog, I tweet, I share a lot. So putting this out there isn't hard for me. I don't care that you all know about this struggle. This is a way for me to stay accountable. Once it is out in the blog-o-sphere I have given my word. I also believe that speaking things out makes things come true.

This weight loss/get fit journey has not been easy. I don't LOVE working out and I definitely have a hard time with the way I have to eat. I complain, I am sore all of the time and I have a lot of mental road blocks that I am pushing through (and sometimes stopping at for a brief moment) and I have to break. I hate that I feel like my entire life revolves around when and what I am eating, when I am working out and planning my schedule around it all. Quite honestly it may never be easy for me. BUT I know that I have to sacrifice to get the results that I want.

I have been BLOWN away by the support. Support from my family, my friends, my blog/twitter friends, my Facebook friends and even my ex. It is in the little things... the texts, blog comments, the "likes" on my Facebook status updates, the tweets, the emails. I had ZERO clue how many people care. It has brought tears to my eyes, more than once. I want each of you to know how much that means to me!

Thank you for supporting me as I continue on this path.

And check back for updates ;)

Fun Facts

2011-10-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, Friends! This week turned out to be a little crazier than I would have liked it to be. I'm looking forward to some awesome changes and to spending some time with my family and nephew this weekend. I'll share more on Monday.

I did take some outfit pics yesterday but I didn't have a chance to upload and crop them. Therefore another day passes without a 'What I Wore' post. Instead I am going to share some fun facts with you all. I always enjoy reading them about other people.

1. I am the oldest of three girls and I am a typical, type A, bossy first born. (just ask my sisters. Ha!)

2. I started blogging three and a half years ago to keep everyone updated on my life when I moved to Seattle

3. I knew I wanted to be in Fashion since I was nine years old. I started 'designing' clothes after my Gram took me to a Fashion Show.

4. I have struggled with my weight since I was ten. I did Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and Slim Fast diets before I was even in High School.

5. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when I was sixteen. Explains the weight issues but I have never been able to get it under control.

6. I was a Swimmer for seven years and swam against Amanda Beard at a meet when I was 14. I lost :)

7. I cannot eat meat off of a bone. It grosses me out beyond belief.

8. Really long escalators with glass sides freak me out but I'm not afraid of heights. (I'm afraid my heel will get stuck in the grate and I will fall to my death. Crazy, yes!)

9. I 100% believed that I would be married with two kids at my current age. I'm not even close.

10. I am a pop culture freak and am fascinated by celebrities BUT when I have met or seen a celeb (that number is in the twenties) I act like I can care less. And totally freak/geek out AFTER.

Well that is it... For now. Hope you enjoyed a small insight to me. I may do this again based upon your responses :)

Have a Happy, Happy weekend!

P.S. The Giveaway ends on Sunday! Make sure and enter!
P.P.S. Have you signed up for Shoemint? I'm going to bug you until the launch ;) SIGN UP HERE!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Dear diary

2010-11-20T01:16:00.001-08:00

Dear Diary...

The next time I fall in love I want him to sing, "That's Beautiful to Me" and take me to Disneyland at Christmas Time. I want to be reminded that it is about the simple things. And that it should be easy.

I also want to remind myself to stop looking for things that I really don't want to know. Facebook REALLY is the devil. Too much information at the click of a mouse.

And as my life continues to change at a rapid pace never let me forget that it is God's plan. Giving it all to him really DOES make the difference. He wants me to be really happy.

Sincerely,
Mandy

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I am Thankful {18}

2010-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

there are NO girls who happen to be luckier than my sisters and I in the DAD department.

No one!

And TODAY is his BIRTHDAY!!

I am thankful for YOU, papa

Dear Daddy,

Not a day can go by without THANKING you for how much you have taught me, for sharing your infinite wisdom, for your listening and guidance, for showing us what a husband should do for his wife and for being the BEST Dad we could have asked for.

You scarificed so much to make US happy.

Your selflessness is like no other.

THANK YOU for being you!

Hope you have an amazing Birthday!

I love you,

Mandy

Pretty Please?

2010-11-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

Please?

Can I MARRY him?

{image via justjared.com}

He is just so hot.

And he seems so nice.

Supposedly he likes the "girl next door" type.

That's totally me, right?!?

Movies

2010-11-16T10:00:00.001-08:00

I love movies (and music).

I love anything that I can relate to in some way, find a way to feel good and just get lost in!

When I read last year that Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway were doing a movie together I leaped with joy.I think that they are both amazingly talented and gorgeous.

Their movie, Love and Other Drugs, comes out on November 24th.

I will be seeing it.

That day.

Enjoy the trailer...

I am Thankful {16}

2010-11-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

I LOVE food.

All kinds of food.

I am THANKFUL that I have never had to go a day without.

That I have a job that provides.

And that I have gotten to experience so much!

My favorites:

Mac and Cheese from Woodranch and Sauce

French Onion soup and Sweet Potato from Claim Jumper

Chicken Tawook from Open Sesame

Sushi from most places

Shanna's/Sarah's/My "Taco Salad"

My Turkey Meatloaf

And MOM's home cooked Thanksgiving dinner

I am Thankful {15}

2010-11-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am SO Thankful that I have people that tell it to me straight, that want what is best for me and that love me unconditionally! The two people that stand out the most in this area are my MOM and my BFF, Sarah.

Sarah and I on Halloween

Mom and I at Hearst Castle

Thank you for helping me put things into perspective!

And for loving me :)

I am Thankful {14}

2010-11-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Jess, Heidi, Janet and me

Me, Ashley, Jen and Shasta at Wagon Wheel

For friends that I have known since middle school.

That I can not see for years and it is like time hasn't passed when we are together!

Love you Jess and Jen!

I am Thankful {13}

2010-11-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

My Grandma is and always will be someone who I will be eternally grateful for!

She has believed in me, invested in me and loves me.

So much of who I am, is who she is too!

She is so smart, non judgemental and generous.

I love you, Grandma!

I am Thankful {12}

2010-11-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

{image via google images}

Buying my Prius was the BEST adult decision that I made.

I practically LIVE in my car and I am so thankful to have a practical, reliable, safe and MONEY saving vehicle.

Penelope has been very, very good to me!

I am Thankful {11}

2010-11-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

{image via corbis.com}

I am THANKFUL for the Veterans who have FOUGHT for my freedom. I am so blessed to live in a country where I am free to love, live and serve a God who loves me more than anything!

I am Thankful {10}

2010-11-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

{image via google images}

I am thankful for my iPhone.

This gadget has gotten me through so much!

It keeps me entertained at all times, no matter where I am!

I am Thankful {9}

2010-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

For my sister, Carly, who is going to make me an AUNTIE.

AND its her 26th birthday!

Happy, Happy birthday to my beautiful middle sister!

Ups and Downs, Love or Hate, Jealousy and Understanding no one has taught me more about myself. How to love, how to compromise, the gift of compassion and how to accept others. You are an amazing human being and I am lucky to call you my sissy!

I love you!

I am Thankful {8}

2010-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

To have the most amazing family a girl could ever ask for.

As crazy as we they are I wouldn't change them for the world.

I have the most loving, loyal and caring people supporting me. Always.

I am Thankful {7}

2010-11-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

That I have a job with a company that feeds my passion.

(even after weeks of stress, challenges and growth that shake me to my core)

I am Thankful {6}

2010-11-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

That a great book can take me away from my reality.

Books help me clear my always thinking mind!

I am Thankful {5}

2010-11-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

That I know what it is like to LOVE and BE LOVED.

I am Thankful {4}

2010-11-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

That I got to live in the BEST city in the world.

And to learn from the experience, ten fold!

I am Thankful {3}

2010-11-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

{image via Ryan McIntire}

That I have so much going on in my life.

And that I still take and find the time to enjoy the experience.

I am not letting it pass me by.

I am Thankful {2}

2010-11-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

That I call Southern California Home.

And that I have the sun shining down on me wherever I happen to be driving at the moment.

I am Thankful {1}

2010-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

That no matter what I am going through I know that I have people that I can turn to, that care.

Instead of packing...

2010-10-25T00:30:00.001-07:00

It's 12:30am.

And I am up for two reasons: I took a nap today AND I still have to pack for the ENTIRE week. Awesome.

So you may be wondering if I need sleep and to pack WHY am I blogging.

Good question, that has a good answer!

The one thing that I LOVE about the blog world is the people and reading their stories.

The sneak peak into people's world makes a nosey girl like me happy.

But what makes me happier is knowing that those people can have an impact on my life.

And at this very moment I am inspired.

I take my life for granted. I take my job for granted. I take people for granted.

It takes me seeing that other people are BETTER than I am.

They struggle and they are stronger.

I am hopefully going to meet one of the people that has made an impact on my life through her blog posts and Twitter updates this Friday. Her "friendship" has been a blessing to me the last six months. And i cannot wait to hopefully bless her and her family as well!

Happy Monday, folks!

I get to see my sister...

2010-10-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

TONIGHT!!

I am so excited to see her and her tiny, little baby bump.

She is going to let me take some pics (since she won't do it herself).

AND in the midst of her pregnancy she starting a Spray Tanning business.

She is going to practice on me!

YES....my white BOD needs it!

Get excited for some updates on this blog soon!

XOXO

To go or not to go...

2010-10-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

THAT is the question.

It has been ten years since I graduated High School.

And my reunion is next month!

I am not sure if I want to go.

TOTALLY on the fence.

I graduated in 2000.

SUCH a cool year and class to be a part of.

i walked with 1200+ people.

My class was huge.

I also knew most of them since I was 7. Crazy.

I have not been the biggest fan of the town I grew up in.

In fact I really try to avoid it.

Little Town girl grew up to LOVE the Big City (and never looked back).

SO I ask you...

Did you go to your Ten Year HS reunion?

Are you glad you did?

Are you bummed you missed it?

With Facebook is it really necessary?

ANY and all help/suggestions are wanted.

Need to make a decision asap!

I was watching this Video Short of a HS class of 2000.

and it kind of made me want to go. Kind of.

Movie looks good, no?

Ten Year from Jamie Linden on Vimeo.

My Fashion Blog is getting old....

2010-10-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

Make sure that you check out my Fashion Blog.

I got a whole new look and I am hosting a GIVEAWAY!

FASHION FUN HERE

I can be there...even when I am not!

2010-09-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

I got an email this morning!

My Brother sent me the link to the video of the Ultrasound!

In case anyone is interested in the Grandparents oooing and aaahing! Mom even squeals a couple of times. Hehe!

Make sure to turn the sound up!

My first nephew...Eli!

Movie Must See: "The Town"

2010-09-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Have you seen "The Town" yet?

No, you haven't? WHY?

"The Town" is pretty much one of the BEST movies that I have seen in a lloooooonnnnnggg time.

Seriously.

The acting was top notch.

(You cannot take your eyes off of Jeremy Renner's character)

The plot has you on the edge of your seat.

(Your eyes will NOT leave the screen. Forget taking a potty break)

Your brain will be in overdrive

(The whole movie you will be thinking that there REALLY are people like this)

You will be speechless for 15 minutes AFTER the movie ends.

(I was. I didn't know what to think or feel)

A movie that can evoke such strong emotions, that draws you in so completely that you have NO idea what actor is actually playing the character, and that leaves you thinking about it DAYS after is a PHENOMENAL one.

And, Ben Affleck is my FAVORITE.

Has been since 1997.

He gets better and better with age.

He not only stars in BUT directs the movie AND wrote the screenplay as well.

TALENTED.

And HOT, but who's looking?

Oh wait, I am.

Beauty, Brawn AND Brains?!?

That's my kind of guy.

Exhibit A

YES...he looks like THAT under those T's

Pretty much the cutest perplexed look I have ever seen.

Behind the camera...Gorgeous!

PLEASE, don't let my Ben pics deter you form the seeing the movie.

It really is fantastic.

Ben just gave it so much more.

And THIRTEEN years later I am still smitten!

It's a B-O-Y!!!!

2010-09-27T00:00:00.001-07:00

(No not me!)

My sister and bro in law are having a boy!

I'm going to have a nephew!

I am so excited.

It still doesn't feel real.

Especially when I saw my sis a few weeks ago and her stomach is flatter than mine.

Cool. I know. Ugh.

There is another famous trio of sisters that dote on their first nephew.

The Kardashian's.

I KNOW that Sam and I will be tweeting pics JUST as much.

Baby (boy) Melhuse will as much LOVE, if not more, as Baby Mason.

{images via google image search and officialkortneyk.celebuzz.com}

I love how they are protecting him (while looking amazing)

This was from the day that I met the Kardashians! {image via KhloeKardashian.celebuzz.com}

Auntie giving Kisses. This will SO be me! {image via kimkardashian.celebuzz.com}

I am SURE that Carly and Adam will just love my tying in a celeb fam to their little nugget. Haha

P.S. Baby Melhuse will be SUPER fashionable too. I can already see myself buying hats and Burberry. EVERY boy should have that, right? RIGHT?!?!

Top 5 things I canNOT travel withOUT!

2010-09-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

{image via Starstyleinc.com}

Not Mandy (I wish I had Louis Luggage), Ashley Tisdale

I travel. At least once a week I am on a plane. My region consists of 5 states, 12 stores and endless airports. I am either at the beach, in the desert or surrounded by mountains. It is truly hard to pack for the weather. I have been doing this for over two years and I think that I have it down to a science. These are the FIVE things that go with me on every trip.

1. Apple iPhone

This phone has been my lifeline. Internet, games/fashion/social networking apps and an iPod. It is perfect for airport delays, taxi rides and to keep the chatty person sitting next to me from interrupting my de-stressing time! I currently have the 3gs. I never buy the first generation of any product. So I will make my iPhone 4 and iPad purchases in early 2011.

2. Nordstrom Tissue Cashmere

This is the BEST accessory on the planet. This luxurious piece of cashmere acts as a stylish scarf, a wrap to cover your shoulders, a blanket on the plane and a pillow when you need one. It is very durable and doesn't wrinkle too much. It comes in a variety of colors. This wrap has saved my when I forgot to pack a cardi and needed to cover my shoulders for work. It has spiced up outfits when I did not have jewelry or something felt off. Every person needs to own MORE than one of these babies!

3. Reading Material

I am an avid reader. It is my favorite downtime and I devour books! I am the same way with magazines. I can bet that I spend almost as much on books and magazines as I do clothes. Almost! At any given time you can check my bag and find a copy of any of the weeklies: US, Life and Style, In Touch. Along with my Elle, InStyle, Vogue etc. I have a very specific way that I read magazines so that they get looked at more than once. I just finshed The girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. It was AMAZING. I am always looking for something new to read so send any suggestions :)

4. Nordstrom "Butter" socks

I love shoes. I pretty much only wear heels, HIGH heels. But the thing that you probably don't know is that I don't wear my shoes outside if I don't have to. I always carry flip flops or flats. I am hard on my shoes and don't want to ruin some of the pretty and pricey ones. Wearing flip flops on the plane can end up being quite chilly. Even in the summertime. So I always have the Nordstrom Butter socks with me. They are so soft and easy to wear. My feet always stay protected and cozy. They are sold mostly in November and December. Be sure to pick up a pair! They make great gifts as well!

5. A Large Tote bag (my preference is the Marc by Marc Pretty Nylon 'Tate' bag)

Any traveling Fashionista HAS to have a tote to throw all of her stuff in. Most airlines only let you bring on a small suitcase and a personal item. I need something large enought to carry my laptop, work files, snacks, reading material AND my everyday Handbag. The MMJ Tate holds it all. You will be amazed with how much fits in it. This bag also fits under the seat in front of you and stays pretty clean due to the material. I own three of these bags, not because I needed a new one but because I love the prints so much. I am currently carrying the leopard print. I get more compliments on this bag than anything.

Runner ups:

Rosebud Salve- it is a lip moisturizer, hand cream and flyaway fixer or eyebrow tamer. Buy it at Urban Outfitters, Anthro or your local beauty supply store. 6 bucks...last forever.
Evian Facial water spray. GREAT for the face after being in different climates and after long flights with recessed air. YUCK. Buy here.
Oversized sunglasses: any shape or size. Hides undereye bags, not so perfect make up and looks chic when you leave the airport. I always have two pairs with me.

So there you have it my friends! A sneak peak into my crazy world. Check out these items before your next traveling adventure! You won't be sorry!

I just had to share!

2010-09-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

I canNOT wait to see this movie!

I read about it in Vogue a couple of months ago and I have been dying to see the trailer.

I love TIM, Gwyneth AND Leighton.

This movie looks incredible.

I am sure it will touch me in the same way, Walk the Line did.

Country Girl at heart <3

So much to share

2010-08-31T22:58:00.000-07:00

WOW!

It has been quite an eventful few weeks.

I have so much to catch you up on!

Palm Springs, Newport Harbor Duffy Ride, Entertainment Tonight Emmy's after party, and off to Cambria, SLO and Big Sur this weekend!

Stay Tuned!

p.s. AND I have to fill you in on the diet. HARDEST. THING. EVER!

My BLOG is Two Years Old

2010-08-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Happy BELATED Birthday, Blog!

June 4th, 2008 was your inception.

And you have been keeping track of my highs and lows since then. A public diary of the sorts!

Thank you for being a sounding board for my never ending thoughts, rants and feelings.

You allow me to express myself without condemning.

You have opened many doors, found great new friends and have let me experience a whole new world.

Some people don't get it and others never will.

But one thing I have learned in this is that the blogs are for ME first and then others to enjoy!

May we enjoy many years in the future!

I have BIG news!

2010-08-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am going to be an AUNTIE!!!

Baby Melhuse will be making his/her arrival in March 2011!

I am so so so excited.

I cannot wait to start shopping for the little peanut!

Adam and Carly are really excited.

My parents are ECSTATIC.

Our little family is growing!

Lauren and Jared get married!

2010-08-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my beautiful friend Lauren married the love of her life, Jared. Now they live Happoly Ever After.

Check out the pics!

Jess, Tommy and I before the ceremony

(excuse Tommy, he refuses to take normal pics)

Jared waiting for his bride

Beautiful bridesmaid, Jill

Here she comes!

SO BEAUTIFUL!

Awwwww

Me, Jill and Dr. Hogie before dinner

Jess at din din

Me and Jilly bean

I love this pic!

Me and Jess

The ceremony was fun and tru to Lauren and Jared's personalities.

Lauren was breathtaking.

I had kidney stones, was in a ton of pain and left after dinner.

I was so sad not to partake in the dancing and picture taking.

I love you Lauren and Jared.

I truly wish you all of the love and happiness!

Xoxo

Way back in May...

2010-08-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

...I turned 28 AND Lauren and Jared got married. I also went to Hawaii but you knew about that!

I returned from Hawaii two days before the big 2-8 and headed straight to Santa Barbara. I went to stay with my dear friend Gavyn and enjoy some more R&R. Carly came down from SLO to join us on a nice birthday dinner. Gav and I always do sushi for my birthday and this year was no different. We had dinner, hit up State St. and had a dance party at the house. Fun times!

Gavyn and I at dinner

Blowing out the candle...part 1

Carly Barly and I

We were YSL shoe triplets! LOVE <3

On the day of my actual birthday I spent the afternoon with Katie shopping at Forever 21.

My friends had a small and intimate dinner at Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills.

They know I love a good celeb sighting (a couple rappers and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame is all we saw. Slow night in The Hills). Dinner was amazing! Afterwards Katie and I channeled our inner 21 year olds and hit up My House. We danced to the wee early morn. It was a blast and Gay night. Lol.

Kate, me, Lauren and Jess

Blowing out the candle part 2

In front of Mr. Chows

(wearing a short tight skirt was a must)

It was a GREAT birthday. Only two years until the big 3-0.

I am planning that extravaganza now!

Totally BELATED but a HUGE Thank YOU for all of the texts, calls and Facebook wishes.

I felt VERY loved that day!

Well this blog here...

2010-08-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

...Sure has gotten neglected! I don't know how I thought I would be able to work, travel and keep up with TWO blogs. Crazy me!

So what has been happening in my life? How nice of you to ask. ;) No more than usual but busier than ever. Does that even make sense? Probably not. Humph!

W-o-r-k is still the number one in my life. Although these days it seems to be making me sick. Literally. I have been dealing with so many body issues due to stress. It is crazy how stress really affects the body and the many ways that it transforms. Even through all of the pain I still love what I do. It truly is the only thing keeping me going. I cut my traveling down by 80% in August and I am talking a few paid time off days to have some extra rest! I am doing what I can to still have a job and take care of myself. It really is a fine balance!

I started a life change! No not menopause..haha! I began the HCG diet with my parents. Today was day one of Phase two...a 500 calorie a day diet that lasts for three weeks. Phase one was a two day gorge of eating all the fattening foods possible...sounds fun but it was VERY hard to do. I feel so lucky to have my parents doing it with me. The support alone is all I need. I will keep you updated. I am very excited and focused. I am finally going to lose the weight and look GREAT!

My Fashion blog is still my main love. Scouring the internet, looking at beautiful clothing, shoes and accessories just makes me happy. I posted and tweeted about Jenna Dewan Tatum today and she read my blog and then tweeted about it herself. It was quite awesome if I do say so myself. I got over 150 hits in two hours. SO cool! I challenged myself at the beginning of the year to post a daily fashion love under the label, 365. I am so sad to say that I fell off course and am not sure if I will get to actually post 365 times. I am working hard to catch up the next couple of months. Tune in to see if I make my goal.

Dating. Oh dating. It is not much fun. And J is back in my life. Taking things slow. Working on things. Nothing set in stone. Still (and will be) living alone. I have NEVER learned so much about myself in such a short amount of time. While I was depressed and slightly emo I wouldn't take these last 6 months back for anything. I am grateful for my growth, for what I have learned and how I have changed.

I continue to read voraciously, books and magazines, play on my computer and iPhone, hang out with friends, tan and sleep. I am living a very deep life my friends! Haha.

I am currently obsessed with owning an iPad, Lauren Conrad's style, shopping, and losing weight. My wallet is TERRIFIED of the weight loss. I think I will be buying some designer duds. You know, the ones I never fit in! And maybe not...OK let's be honest. I will.

OH, one last thing. I am also obsessed with having long, long hair. Contemplating extensions until mine reaches the length I want. Here are a couple of pics with some clip in extensions in. Looks real! What do you think....yay or nay?

That's all folks!

Oh Jess...

2010-07-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

It is a big day for you...

The big 3-0.

You biggest fan is wishing you the happiest birthday!

The past couple of years I have made sure to wish you all of the best.

2008 and 2009.

You continue to be an inspiration to others.

You hold your head high, you stand up for what you believe in and continue to look beautiful every single day.

Praying that 30 is your best year yet.

Obsessed with this whole outfit.

I want my hair to look like this every day.

When most people wear black...she is a bombshell in white.

Debuting new short locks.

Holy tanness... and AMAZING CHANEL PUMPS!

Love when she does sothern chic

I want those boots (and the hair...but I already mentioned that)

{all images via starstyleinc.com}

The past five years have been good to you!

Your thirties will be your best ever!

Plans for the 4th?

2010-07-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

I HEART the fourth of July.

Hands down...it is one of my most favorite Holidays.

I love the all American feelings that come out.

Beach, BBQ's and Beer.

That would make my PERFECT weekend.

Perfect.

I had a pretty fun time last year.

You can read about it while I figure out THIS year's plans.

I am thinking that Kayaking, Beach BBQ and a bonfire are essential.

What are your plans?

Want to include me ;)

Happy Father's Day 2010

2010-06-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Dad,

You loved me first.

Thank you for always being there with open ears and a soft word. For hearing me out even when you think I am crazy. For pushing me and supporting me to be the best I can be. For drying my tears while telling me to toughen up. For talking "business". For never letting me settle. For loving me when I don't make it easy to love me. For being an example to all men. And for loving mom with all your heart.

There is no better!

You deserve more than one day.

Love you forever,
Mandy

Maui: Day 3

2010-06-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Day three consisted of laying out and eating.

A whole lotta relaxation.

The Beach Day 3: not AS windy as Day 2

The water was so turquoise and warm enough to swim in.

The Sheraton: Some guy lights a fire thingy and jumps form this cliff!

Self pic...I took a lot of these.

Brookie (she is such a cute preggo), Jess, Katie (the BRIDE) and me

Tawney, Sarah, Brookie, Jess, Katie and me

Another incredible sunset

Katie, Jess and I for after dinner drinks

Maui: Night 1 and Day 2

2010-06-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Maui was AHHH-Mazing!

It was EXACTLY what I needed.

I travelled for a full day arricing in Maui at 9pm local time.

My orginal flight was cancelled after I flew to Phoenix to catch the direct to Maui.

I threw my status (which I NEVER do) and got myself a flight to Honolulu and THEN Maui.

Thank GOODNESS I travel a lot and knew what to do.

I made it safely and in time to hit the bar for dinner and drinks before heading to bed!

Night 1: No pics but good times with all my friends

DAY 1

View from my room

After breakfast and a little shopping we hit the beach

You cannot tell from the pics but it was WINDY!!!

Heaven!

"I've got my toes in the water, Ass in the sand, not a worry in the world and a cold beer in my hand! Life is good today"

Can you see the sand on my chest?

From the GUSTS of wind that blew sand EVERYWHERE!

I had to hold my hat on.

Laying out by the pool.

Could lay out AND watch the Lakers game.

AWESOME!

Yes...STILL at the pool at 6:30pm

Gorgeous sunset!

My HS friend Jess and her husband Don at dinner in Lahaina.

We shopped and ate and drank.

I fell IN LOVE with a Weiland painting...I didn't buy it! I wish.

It was a nice and relaxing day.

Eye candy: Ryan Gosling

2010-05-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

the Notebook is one of my all time favorite movies.

it Never gets old.

I fell in love with Ryan's character, Noah, before I even realized HOW good looking he is.

Noah never gave up, did anything to make Ally happy while not losing himself. He kept her in line by being straight up honest but in a loving way.

And the love scenes were sexy and loving.

Ryan is a damn good dresser.

I LOVE his style and I think it makes him even better looking.

He wears pieces that many men would not feel comfortable in. He looks great in every day wear along with dressing up.

These pictures are just beautiful.

I love the striped cardigan, white v neck and motorcycle boots. His Ray Ban Wayfarers complete the "Hollywood cool" look.

All staples that guys should have in their closet.

In a Burberry tux.

The little scruff on his face makes me swoon.

{le sigh}

The open collar makes him look somewhat casual.

It leaves something to the imagination.

Not many men can pull off this look.

Very European.

You can tell he has an amazing body in his close fitting clothes.

This squinty smirk is one of my favorite facial expressions he makes.

He just looks hot.

And I LOVE Michelle WIlliams dress and new hair color and cut.

She looks gorgeous as well!

On my way

2010-05-07T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am on my way to Maui! I cannot tell you how excited I am. I will be taking lots of pictures and updating my weekend via twitter. Check my Twitter if you can't wait for the post.

ONE week until my birthday! Countdown has begun!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Life Ain't Always Beautiful

2010-05-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

I was asked recently why I blog.

And I get asked that a lot.

I think that what the person was getting at is...

Why do you blog about your personal life when really it should be kept private and everyone doesn't need to know your business.

I was also asked if I blogged for attention.

{Maybe...but not in the way that it was asked}

I blog for many reasons:

I have always been a writer and writing is freeing to me.
I like the comraderie and companionship knowing that other people feel the same way I do at times.
I use this as a journal that I have looked back on over the last couple of years and have been happy to have the documentation; good and bad.
I like the attention but not in a self seeking way.
I am proud of my thoughts and feelings and opinions. They make me who I am. And I am entitiled to have them even when no one agrees.
I can see my growth as an individual.
I am inspired by others and hope to do the same.

I understand that many people don't like to be blogged about or apart of this world where anyone can see anything at anytime.

It can be scary.

I get it.

I blog for me.

And if I can help someone with my writing and experiences than I have contributed to a better world.

With that said...

It is not a secret that my life is drastically different than it was two months ago. And it is not a secret that I am not my usual self. In fact I think that the only thing that I have tried to keep a secret is that I am trying to pretend that everything is ok by being tough and strong. And that secret is not that very well kept.

I am sad, I am hurting, I am growing, I am emotional, I am trying.

And I am Human.

My life is not perfect.

It is not always exciting.

My job and traveling takes it toll

At times I think it has ruined many things/relationships in my life.

But this is a season in my life that I will learn and grow from.

I will become a better, stronger and more loving person.

I am going to hurt and I am going to cry.

And I don't need to hear all the usual things that you say to someone that is going through this.

I just need a shoulder to cry on.

A hug to tell me it's ok.

And an ear that won't JUDGE when listening to my roller coaster of feelings and emotions

Since I can't have someone with me 24/7...

Music has really been my refuge and my sanity.

Along with praying.

This Gary Allan song says so much.

It has touched me in the past and it touched me today.

Gary Allan

Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Life ain't always beautiful

Sometimes it's just plain hard

Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life ain't always beautiful

You think you're on your way

And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggle makes you stronger

And the changes make you wise

And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time

[chorus]

No,life aint always beautiful

Tears will fall sometimes

Life aint always beautiful

But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful

Some days I miss your smile

I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute

I could see your pretty face

Guess I can dream, but life dont work that way

But the struggles makes me stronger

And the changes make me wise

And happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful

But I know I'll be fine

Hey, life aint always beautiful

But its a beautiful ride

What a beautiful ride

The countdown continues: 2 weeks

2010-04-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

In TWO weeks.

I have to be in a bathing suit.

YIKES!

I look at these pictures everyday.

For motivation.

I am not sure HOW motivated I am.

Anywho...

I bought these two bathing suits.

I'm excited to wear them.

Really.

I am.

And in two weeks you might get lucky.

And see pics of my in my suit picks.

And then again...maybe not!

GYM, TAN, DIET.

My own version of the Jersey Shore.

I mean really...how much weight can I really lose in two weeks? Hopefully ten.

Trying.

Blessing

2010-04-23T00:09:00.001-07:00

Today was a really tough day for me. And I wasn't handling it well. As I was getting into bed I got a random email. From someone that I don't even really KNOW. The words that she had to tell me, meant so much.

So THANK YOU my friend!

You know who you are!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

oops...I did it again!

2010-04-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

I made it back to the gym today. Are you all starting to pick up on my reoccuring theme?

I make it back every few months. Go at it and then something happens and I stop going. I'm determined to break the cycle.

This is my face after my workout.

Dead. Tired.

I will be extremely sore tomorrow.

I also need new running shoes. Yes... Need. I have had my current pair for years. Seriously. I won't tell you how many years. Just know that I'm not doing my body any favors.

The oldy moldy shoes.

Nike Shox. Been good shoes. Have my eye on a new black and silver pair.

Anyone have any athletic shoe suggestions?

I know ALL of my friends are obsessed with LuLu Lemon workout wear. I drink the Nordy's Kool Aid. I have bought onto our Zella athletic gear. It is actually better quality and cheaper. Take that. :p

So my work out woes return.

How exciting will it be when I am HAPPY to work out. Maybe one day you will get a smiling pic. Haha.

P.S. I have a training appointment with Hunter on Friday. I'm prepared to not be able to move.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bridal Shower: Lauren (soon to be) Burton

2010-04-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

I met so many incredible people in college. Many of them being my sorority sisters. Now that I have been out of college for awhile (5 years...where did the time go?) I have only kept in touch with a few people.

Facebook Friends don't really count :)

Lauren and I met our freshman year of college. We both lived in the dorms and we were in the same sorority. We did some wild and crazy things. Lauren was JLo, we had a fun trip in Rosarito for Spring Break, played many sports for philanthropy and we now both work in the Fashion world. While we were friends we didn't become close until after college. I don't know when that changed but I feel like we have always been close.

Lauren and Jared are the cutest. He has brought out the absolute BEST in her. Lauren is always smiling, in fact she glows. He has made her so domestic. They are a down to earth couple and I love being apart of their lives. The complete each other.

Some pics from the shower

The Bride in all her glory!

She got SO MANY gifts...look at her Rehearsal bouquet!

Red and Aqua themed.

Decor was fabulous. So pretty.

Candy bar.

Trying it out before the wedding.

They thought of everything!

They used rings as napkin holders!

Lauren and her little sis, Morgan.

Or her mini me

LB girls...missing Jill :(

Body shot 1

We had on cute shoes

Lauren's mom liked this background better

CONGRATS LAUREN and JARED!
Love you both!

The countdown begins...3 weeks

2010-04-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

In exactly THREE weeks.

I will be on a plane.

To Maui.

Kaanapoli Beach

Black Beach

Sunrise in Maui

To stay at this Hotel.

The Maui Westin.

In a room like this.

To celebrate the wedded bliss of these two.

Mark and Katie (soon to be) Drew

JEALOUS?!?!

I would be ;)

Loving my Long Beach friends

2010-04-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed to have such great friends. In February I had to say good bye to one of my funniest friends, Jill and her husband Alan. They moved to Texas to be closer to her family. I met Jill and Alan through my college friends, Jess and Lauren. We all clicked and LOVE hanging out together. We always have THE best time ever. We are a great mix and I am miss them so much. :(

Here are a few pics from Jessica's birthday and Jill and Alan's going away party!

(Alan is a FANTASTIC and talented photgrapher. So the good pics are from him!)

I love US. This picture is so great!

Love my Jilly SO much!

A sad, sad night :(

Coopy and Me

See you later is better than Good bye!

Katie Allen: Wedding festivities

2010-04-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

My other friend Katie is getting married in Hawaii on May 10,2010. And I am SO excited that I will be there. Her bridal party put on a surprise Bachelorette Party in the Wine Country and held the Bridal Shower the next day. Katie has been a close friend of mine since seventh grade. We have been friends for 16 years. Katie is an amazing friend and I am so happy for her. She lives in St. Louis, MO with her soon to be hubby. I miss her so much! The weekend honoring her was awesome. It was so great to be around my friends that I grew up with.

It was Hawaiian themed

We all got Lei'd

Casey and I

Jess, Casey, Brookie, Katie, Danielle and I

Yum...Wilson Creek Almond champagne in chocolate glasses

All the girls

The bride and I

All of the Temecula girls at the Bridal shower

Katie and Kevin: Engaged!

2010-04-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

In February I was so honored to be apart of my dear friend Katie's engagement in Seattle. Katie has been a friend of mine for about 5 years. We work together at Nordstrom. She was one of my saving graces when I lived in Seattle. Kate moved back home to the OC a month after I did. And we have stayed FANTASTIC friends. I LOVE spending time with her and we relate on so many levels.

Katie and her fiance Kevin had been friends for many years. They started dating right before Katie moved to Seattle. Kevin then moved to Seattle to be with her after the distance became to hard to deal with. So Seattle is truly where their love grew. Kevin wanted to propose to Katie while she was up there. We had workshops to attend and Kevin flew up there to surprise her. Our friend Bren and I had to get her to the place on time. After many snafu's we got her to the Ballard Locks where Kevin was waiting. He is a musician so her serenaded her a song that he wrote for her. Romantic? Absolutely!

She had NO CLUE. Walking up to Kev.

Kevin being romantic.

The proposal. On one knee.

She said "YES"!!!

So happy!

Bren and I...master planners!

All of our friends were there to celebrate.

The happy couple and I.

Awww....LOVE

He HATES those leggings.

Such a GREAT pic!

At the after after party!

I got them a hotel room!

This is when we picked them up!

I was a paparazzi. :)

Happy Birthday Reagan and Paige!

2010-04-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

This post is over a month late! Sorry Reagers!

One of my favorite little ones turned 4 on March 2.

I cannot believe how big she is.

I felt so lucky to be included at the family birthday dinner.

Reags: I love you! Thanks for holding a special place in my heart you sassy thing!

How cute is the cake? I love how darling she is blowing out the candles.

Her face is PRICELESS!

My beautiful BFF, her hubby and Reags

Reagan had to show us her black mouth from the frosting. Hehe.

Auntie Mandy always has to take self pics!

I missed Miss Paige's birthday on April 9th!

I love you Paigey Poo!

Two years looks good on you ;)

Check out the girls birthday on their blog.

Looks like they had SO much fun.

Restless leg syndrome

2010-03-31T00:25:00.000-07:00

Do you ever lay in bed and feel like your legs are still moving? You toss and turn, move them around but they still have that feeling? Well i have that feeling righ now. At midnight. Ugh!

I think that this is my bodies way of telling me I need to go to the gym. Thank you body. For reminding me right now.

It is on my Wednesday To Do list.

I just have to say that I heard something today that reminded me how strong we are. Physically and emotionally. We are not alone no matter how much we like to think we are. And that things can always be worse.

My mom reminded me today that I am a fighter. And I have always overcome people trying to bring me down. I have dealt with so much and I'm dealing with my same situation with heart and intensity.

I have God in my corner. The enemy is fighting hard but i have already defeated him. Good time to be reminded.

And I had a very close friend of mine kick me in the butt a little. Ok she kicked me HARD. And I needed it. Thanks Gav for always being honest with me, for listening and for accepting me. Always. Love you!

At this point I bet you are wondering about the randomness. That's how my brain works. Makes you crazy? Me too! One day I will have a switch to turn my brain off when needed. Until then I blog.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Call it what you want

2010-03-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

Envy. Jealousy. Want. Desire. I have been hit by the green eyed monster and I want it to go away. I HATE feeling jealous. I hate the way it takes over. I hate forgetting how great MY life is.

It seems like the more uncertain my life is the more certain others become in theirs. I know that my move is a step forward but some days it feels like twenty steps back. I no longer have my own place, my relationship is uncertain and i am trying to make my dreams cone true. I know that I'm living Gods plan so why is that I have such a hard time cooperating with him?

Many of you know this but I thought that I would be married with a kid at 25. The lord clearly had other plans. I long for a family. I want that other part to complete me.

This past week I helped a life long friend celebrate and prepare for her marriage. Another close friend got an engaged. Two friends are pregnant. And I have two weddings to attend in May. I am TRULY happy for these special people in my life. They are incredible women and I love them with all my heart. I want the best for them and I think that they all found it.

But I cannot help but think, "When will it be my turn?"

I am trusting God and his plan.
My head knows it but my heart hasn't quite caught up yet.

One day.....

JEREMIAH 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

work out wagon

2010-03-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

I cannot tell you why, but I have fallen off again. It is like I am addicted to NOT working out. I wish that I could be the opposite. I want to love working out. I really, really do. I am hoping to have more time now that I have moved. But now I have to establish myself again. An unfamiliar gym and NO trainer doesn't make it more welcoming. I am working on pulling it together.

Anyone have any trainer suggestions? I need motivation!

A new chapter has begun

2010-03-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

I did it.

I moved.

It feels so weird.

Not quite sure how I feel.

Still trying to get acclimated.

Driving a new route was bizarre.

Driving through the town I grew up in makes me anxious.

I keep telling myself that God is in control.

I am following his plan and making him happy.

I am blessed beyond belief by my incredible parents.

My friends have been amazing: texts and check ins galore.

So here I sit. Wondering what is next!

And keeping the faith.

*** Side note, my mom unpacked and organized all of my stuff while I was at work.***

I CANNOT thank her enough!

And my Dad did so much heavy moving.

How did I get so lucky???

The changes are coming

2010-02-28T23:49:00.001-08:00

I am laying in bed and my mind is racing. This has been an overwhelming and emotional weekend. And the week is going to get worse. You may remember that I declared 2010 to be the year that I put me first. The first thing to make that statement true is that I am moving. Closer to work. The commute is killing me and it affects my body.

While for most people this would be exciting. But for me it is heart-wrenching. I LOVE Long Beach. I love the little community of Belmont Shore and where I live. My friends are here. My boyfriend is here. My heart is here.

The only thing is that I don't work here. I am based out of San Diego (along with the four other states in my territory). I'm hardly ever here and my career has not brought me back to the OC. And I work many hours. 70% of my life is work. It is enjoyable which is why I'm committed. Plus it pays the bills. I'm not in a situation where I have someone that takes care of me. That will be my reality someday but for now I can't rely on that.

Many if you will have a lot of questions. And I truly love that you care. But I don't have any answers right now. Just know that I have a plan and I am trusting the Lord.

Keep me in your prayers!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Unconventional

2010-02-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

I am really excited. Tomorrow I am going to watch a Frances Chan podcast. I will be watching the same one as my friend, Rachel. Then we are going to email eachother our thoughts and discuss. This is a new way for me to get the word and have a little fellowship. I have been looking for new ways to grow and develop but wasn't sure how it would actually work out. This is my first attempt. I will let you all know how it goes.

Comment if you want to get in on this new virtual way to worship and fellowship.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Awww St. Valentine

2010-02-14T17:08:00.000-08:00

This has not been a week of "love" for me.

In fact it took all that I had not to start off every conversation with a cuss word.

I had a very challenging work week, which I have to note...doesn't happen often.

I was drained. Emotionally.

Which I SWEAR is more painful than being physically drained.

I wasn't in the mood to blog.

I didn't schedule any blogs so I failed at my 14 "love" blog posts.

I am sure that I will just try to post them in the month of February instead ;)

Being so drained didn't make me ambitious to plan a love filled weekend either.

So we played it safe and stayed home, all weekend long.

On that note I hope that everyone had an enjoyable day!

And that you all shared enough love for me!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love, Mandy

friends, friends, friends

2010-02-07T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am a FIRM believer that you cannot get through life by yourself. You need people's love and support to be successful. I have so many incredible people that have influenced my life and have helped in making me who I am today.

To my friends...

It is easy for me to get wrapped up in my own world and many of you know how to bring me back down to reality. You listen to me rant and rave without judging. You accept the decisions I make and are there for me when they are not always the right ones. You encourage me to follow my dreams, to think outside the box and to follow my heart. You let me be me. And for that I am forever grateful!

I LOVE each and everyone of you!

I love my sisters

2010-02-04T21:51:00.000-08:00

I have the most beautiful and special sisters.

Period.

You can try to argue that yours are better,

BUT they're not.

Sorry.

SEE...the best!

I am so grateful to have two sisters that are so different from eachother and from me.

We have all come to a place where we accept eachother for who we are.

I enjoy every minute that we get together.

Sad thing is that we live so far apart.

I miss having Carly live in LA.

And Sam has been in AZ for sooo long now!

Thank you for making me the proudest big sister ever.

For accepting me and loving me through everything.

And for forgiving me when I let you down.

EVen though I am the oldest I learn from both of you.

And you both have amazing qualities that I strive to have!

I love you Carly Ann and Samantha Lynn!

I inspired my mama...

2010-02-03T22:26:00.000-08:00

To start a blog of her own!

One of the wisest people I have ever met is setting out to embark on her own blogging adventure.

I know that she is just getting started but check her out.

I will make time in the next week to help her "pimp out her blog"! Haha.

Love you mom!

You always support me and I plan to do the same for you!

www.DebbieBChristiansen.Blogspot.com

And a pic of her for good measure...

John

2010-02-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

In honor of my BF's birthday, I am showing him the LOVE today.

John turned 33. I think he is a little frightened by the number.

When I look at him I see the past four years.

I see memories.

I see growth.

I see Love.

I have grown up in my relationship with John.

From a naive and strong willed 23 year old to a smarter and strong willed 27 year old.

I learned how to give without expecting to get anything back.

I learned to trust when we were 1000 miles apart.

I learned that things don't always go my way. Even when I ploy and plot.

I learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to that it does NOT mean that they don't love you in the best way that they know how.

We have weathered many storms.

I am who I am today because of this relationship.

Loving someone is so much more than an emotion.

It is a choice and it isn't easy.

The future is unknown.

But no matter what John will always have a place in my heart.

(there will be no pictures posted at his request. seriously. haha)

Romantic Comedies

2010-02-02T22:47:00.000-08:00

I have gotten a lot of postitive feedback on my first Love post. Thank you. It was SO easy to write but really hard to read. Over and Over. Since yesterday's post was necessary... it was also a little heavy. And I have decided to go in a different direction today!

I absolutely LOVE romance.

Novels, movies and real life.

There was NO WAY I could talk about love and not mention my favorite movie ever.

Seriously, FAVORITE.

The Notebook

There has not been a movie that made me feel so many emotions just by watching.

I want that kind of love.

Ryan Gosling is one of my few celeb crushes.

And the HOTNESS that he exudes in that movie is unreal.

And he is even better in real life!

See...HAWT!!! I love him scruffy!

A few of my favorite parts...

Allie: "Why didn't you write"

Noah: "I wrote you everyday for a year. I loved you. I STILL love you"

LOTS of kissing

Such a beautiful moment.

A metaphor for how special their relationship is.

Allie: "Say you're a bird"

Noah: (Blank Stare)

Allie: "Say it..."

Noah: "If you're a bird, then I'm a bird"

My favorite quote.

And my perfect date: walking down an empty street, romantically dancing to our own music and lost in our own world. Aaaaaahhhhh!

And RIGHT now I am anxiously awaiting for Friday.

The latest Nicholas Sparks book turned movie, Dear John, comes out.

I read the book. Awesome.

And the fact that Channing Tatum is playing John. Love.

Check out the trailer...

http://www.sonypictures.com/previews/movies/dearjohn/clips/1477/

And now you all know that I am a sappy, hopeless romantic!

I love the Lord!

2010-02-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

I have to start at the beginning. I was raised in the church. I have faithful parents. I have been surrounded by wonderful, good hearted, christian people.

I don't talk about the lord, my faith or my religion on my blog often. In fact I hardly ever do. I read blogs, not just fashion blogs, all of the time. And I love seeing faith through them. Maybe I don't write because I don't want to be judged. Judged by the choices I have made or the life that I have chosen to live. And maybe it is because my faith has always wavered. I have questioned God, been very angry with him, I have blamed him. And to this day I still have those very real feelings and emotions. I am strong willed, stubborn and some might say rebellious. I have chosen to do what I think is best. And I have hundreds of reasons as to WHY I have done everything that I have done. Does it make it right, NO. But it is my reality.

The past couple of years I have really grown. In myself, in my relationships, in my career and in my relationship with the Lord. I must state that I have never doubted that what I was taught is right, I just thought I could walk the line. I have always had morals and values. And believe me...they kept me from being FULL BLOWN out of control. From letting my body be used and having my soul shattered. I am now in my late twenties and I crave the things that I was taught. In giving into those cravings I have to let go of some things in my life. Things that will hurt, that will be tough and things that will change me to my core. And I pray everyday that I am ready for that. Every day is one day closer to the life that I see myself having and that I know God wants for me. I just have to reach out and have a little faith.

When I look at this picture I remember WHY I can have the life that God has planned for me. I remember what he did so that I can have the CHOICE to live my life the way I wanted. And why I can come back to him, on my knees begging for forgiveness. Because he loves me that much. Because I have parents that have prayed day in and day out who have never given up on me. Because I have people who have been placed in my life to remind me. And because I am me, with a head full of knowledge and a heart that needs to believe it.

I have had a hard time loving myself. And I know that to love someone else I have to love me first. And that has been a tough battle. But as I love me, flaws and all, I know that others will too. SO in my quest to talk about things that I love, I had to start with HIM, Jesus Christ.

OH EM GEE...

2010-02-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

STOP. the. PRESSES.

Guess who isn't traveling in February...

Yup, ME!!!

well, with the exception of Seattle for work AND pleasure :)

I have been sitting here thinking how weird it feels.

I have traveled at least three weeks a month for the last 19 months.

I don't know what to do with myself.

And I THINK I am going to miss my states.

There was a booking snafu and my Vegas /AZ trip for this week was never booked.

SO my boss said that I can take those days as office days to catch up.

Finish some 2009 projects.

Plan for 2010.

Our fiscal year just ended on Saturday so we are a month late celebrating New Year's.

I am not traveling the rest of the month due to my Seattle trip and a big Fashion Show in San Diego at the end of the month. Should be very fun!

So here is to driving. A lot.

Staying with the parentals and friends to alleviate the driving.

And, Hey RACHEL, I have more time to actually get together!

More time for me.

To work out.

To ponder.

To grow.

Yay!

It makes the world go around

2010-01-31T21:50:00.000-08:00

Love.

We all need it.

It isn't easy.

But it sure is fulfilling.

I challenged myself on my fashion blog to post something I love in fashion every single day.

And now I am challenging myself here.

But not for a whole year. Haha.

In honor of February being the month with Valentine's day I am going to post everyday until Valentines Day about what I love and what inspires me.

First post tomorrow!

I went to Park City

2010-01-31T19:16:00.000-08:00

And got to experience a little bit of Sundance.

(a pic with my iPhone from the car)

It is pretty much THE cutest town ever!

I would live there in a heartbeat.

I was so lucky to have my friend and counterpart, Rachel, in Utah with me on
one of my work trips. We decided to do dinner in Park City. I had been sad because I totally wanted to go up there when Sundance was going on and I thought it was over.

But. It. Wasn't.

We didn't see any stars but there was a definite buzz going on around town.

Rach and I would definitely agree that we saw more "cougars" tha you would in OC. HAHA.

We had a great dinner and I am dying to go back and hang out!

Loved it!

they're here, they're here!

2010-01-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

For something I was super apprehensive about... I sure am excited to get the pics!

www.sweetchildofminephotography.com

Here are a few...

You can check out the rest HERE

Thanks again to an amazing life long friend!

You make me feel beautiful, inside and out!

And there is nothing better than that!

Hi Friends...

2010-01-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

My "photo shoot" was a total blast!

I am so excited to see the photos and to share them.

Even though I was scared...and I don't want people to think that I think that I am a model. :)

It was awesome to hang out with Leslie.

Did you know that she was one of my first friends in Temecula?

We met when I was seven! Crazy, huh!

Work is keeping me as busy as usual.

I have not worked out as much as I should be.

Still traveling and earning those frequent flier miles.

I am planning a trip to Maui in May for a dear friends wedding (and my 28th bday)

And still planning a big change in March.

2010 the year of ME!!

BTW...Have you visited my fashion blog lately???

If not you really should!

I have really been stretching myself and have been blogging EVERY DAY.

Can you imagine?

Check out my labels and click on 365.

Once a day, every day, all year long.

It has been challenging and FUN.

www.fashionistammc.blogspot.com

Kind of excited...and scared...oh boy!

2010-01-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

My friend Leslie has FINALLY convinced me to let her take some pictures of me.

She is a fantastic photographer and does some incredible shoots with children.

Check out her work here

And I am nervous.

Scared.

Petrified.

The good part is that...

I get to wear two different outfits.

One I am SO excited about and it is fancy!

I cannot decide on the second.

Casual? Theme? Oh, what to wear!?!

Any ideas...leave me a comment.

Many of you who are regular readers know that I have been trying to work on my body.

And I am NOWHERE near ready for the camera.

But I am going to do it.

Conquer this fear.

Fight my battle with low self esteem.

And VOGUE!

SO....

2010-01-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

SInce I have declared 2010 to be all about me (not in a selfish way) I just wanted to send a quick post/update...

Many of you that have followed my blog know that I spent 2009 working with a trainer, ~~trying~~ to eat better (hey I didn't say extremely healthy!) and trying to get some personal body issues under control...This will continue in 2010 with hopefully even BETTER results.

On that note my New Year started yesterday. I gave myself one last weekend to just relax and not stress about every morsal that enters my mouth, how my clothes fit or what I look like naked. So I started Monday. And you know what...I did good. Really good. And obviously I should its Day 1. But it is still encouraging and I am pushing myself to focus on the positive.

What am I doing you may ask?

Work outs 4x a week.

Starting back with my FAB trainer Hunter the third week of January. As finances permit.

Eating SMART especially when I travel.

It looks like A LOT of green veggies, sans dressing and cheese.

Protein: Chicken and Turkey...little to NO red meat :(

And ONE, yes ONE carb a day. Yikes!

Sugar is one I am battling with. Dark chocolate may be my only sugar friend. And he is a SMALL friend.

An occassional protein shake and Fiber one bars!

That is it my friends. PRAY for me!

Now that I have put it out to the blog world...aka YOU!

I am hoping for some accountability. Keep me in line. In a supportive way of course

***And my hair appointment is TODAY at 3pm***

The au naturale look is winning in the votes

We shall see. I always get crazy once I am in the chair! Haha.

Happy Tuesday!

New year, new you???

2010-01-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

I need YOU....

to help me choose!

I have a hair appointment on Tuesday.

And I cannot decide if I should go back to platinum or continue on with the Au Naturale look I have been rocking lately.

Here are a few pics to remind you...

Thoughts?

Comments?

PLEASE SHARE!!!!

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

Wishing each and everyone of you the BEST in 2010.

Live well

Laugh much

Love often

This is going to be a year of self reflection and change!

I am going to be selfish and put myself first.

Personally and Professionally.

I haven't pin pointed a resolution.

Check back!

All my love,

Mandy

Oh December...

2010-01-01T21:52:00.000-08:00

You are SUCH a blur. I worked my booty off and I don't remember much!

Had a nice Christmas eve.

My family let us open presents on Xmas eve so I could sleep in!

That was the best present in itself.

I slept through Christmas day, waking up to eat and play some Rockband!

New Year's was spent up in San Luis Obispo with my Sisters and Bro.

Drove up by myself in the rain, Saw Gavyn for a brief moment and made it to SLO to have dinner with the fam. We shopped, cooked, ate and then played Guitar Hero.

Happy New Year 2010!

In the car on Christmas Eve

At Car and Adam's

Breakfast in SLO on NYE

Walking back from dowtown after shopping and Fro Yo

Carly cooking. She is quite the Hostess

The decorations and the "10" cookie cake to ring in the New Year

Trying out a new lipstick color..it's all about Raspberry lips

My Bro getting crazy on the Guitar

Just hanging out with Muhammed Ali

Car playing the drums on Sam

The hubby and wife team

P.S. Carly is not great at Guitar Hero. At all. Haha

November: In pics

2010-01-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

I have been SOOO busy and too lazy when I am home to blog. So here is November in pictures.

Carly's Bachelorette

Getting Ready for the Wedding

THE Wedding

Thanksgiving...

No pics for Thanksgiving. It was quiet since Car and Adam were on their honeymoon, Sam had to stay in AZ and John didn't join me in Temec with moms and pops. We had a nice dinner and I spent the weekend working! Gotta love retail holidays!

Date night

2009-11-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pics from our Anniversary dinner.

Went to Woodranch in Cerritos, CA.

Seriously one of my favorite restaurants EVER!

We had a nice time!

Self pic...in the car!

The flash gets him every time!

Not the best pic in the world

Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale

2009-11-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

The Nordstrom Half yearly Sale starts TOMORROW!!!

Check the Nordstrom website for store hours at the location nearest you!

Great Special Purchase and Fantastic Markdowns!

Double Points when you use your Nordstrom Cards for the first three days of the event.

GET YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING DONE!!!!

My sissy's bridal shower!

2009-11-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

Carly's friends threw her an AMAZING Bridal Shower on September 19, 2009.

Rindy, Angela and Lacey really did an excellent job.

The food was incredible, the decorations were beautiful and classy.

You can tell how much they LOVE my sister and it truly warmed my heart!

Here is my sister arriving, She is glowing!

And some guests at the shower

Miss Carly opening some gifts

Here is her bridal party

Sam, Me, Rindy, Angela, Carly, Lacey and the Maid of Honor Stefanie

And the Christiansen girls

1...2...3...4...what?!?...4 years!

2009-11-01T15:00:00.000-08:00

October 29, 2009

John and I celebrated 4 years of...

Dating.

Enjoying eachother's company.

Learning about ourselves AND each other.

Love.

I can honestly say that I never really thought that we would make it this far. Those of you that know us know that it has not been easy, that we have faced many obstacles and that every day matters! We both appreciate all of the love and support that we have received from our friends and family over the years. We wouldn't be together if it wasn't for your words of wisdom!

One of our first pictures together!

John...Thank you for loving me when it has been so hard! For teaching me HOW to be a better person. Letting me make mistakes and for always supporting my career! You are truly unique and I am so blessed to have you in my life! Happy four years! Love you!...Mandy

A pic from August

Becca and Steve

2009-11-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

I mentioned back in August that my work mentor was getting married.

Becca officially became Mrs. Steve Adkinson on September 18, 2009.

They got married at the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point. That is one of the most beautiful venues. Definitely set the standards for amazing weddings.

They had a photo booth, which has become quite the range, that John and I had fun in. We also made scrapbook pages for the couple to keep. LOVED doing that!

Congratulations and I pray that you have a life filled of LOVE and HAPPINESS!

Reagan's gymnastics class

2009-10-31T16:20:00.001-07:00

I was off on a Monday and I decided to spend some much needed time with my bestie and her girls. I babysat reagan and Paige while Sarah ran errands and then went with them to Reagan's gymnastics class at Miss Reags request. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to have her ask me to come and really want me there. Watching her in gymnastics was the cutest thing! I got some great pictures!

Babysitting

Reags on the trampoline after showing me her moves

She wanted a pic of us together!

I put my scarf on her! A girl must always play dress up :)

Gymnastics

Keeping Paige entertained during Reags class

On the balance beam

Waiting patiently for her turn

Showing off her leotard!

Such a fun day. I am so blessed!

Holy moly

2009-10-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged on my personal blog in FOR-EVER...

Next week starts INSANITY so I am working on some post dated blogs to catch up. There has been a lot going on and more to come.

I have all of my sister's wedding festivities, my anniversary, The QUeen Mary "SHipwrecked" and others. Check back soon!

While you are at it check out my FASHION blog, add it to your blog lists and help me spread the word! Thanks friend!

It is up!!!

2009-10-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.fashionistammc.blogspot.com/

Let me know what you think!

I have been SUPER busy!

2009-10-10T18:46:00.001-07:00

and have completed neglected my blog!

And I have been working on my FASHION BLOG!

Hoping to launch that soon.

I will leave you with this picture of THE CUTEST girls in the world.

Seriously, I don't think they can get cuter and then Sarah posts this pic!

LOVE their sweet, delicious and adorable faces!

Separation

2009-09-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have decided to separate my blog. This site will continue to be about my life. But I am starting a fashion blog as well. Be on the look out for the link!

the latest shoe obsession...

2009-09-06T14:53:00.001-07:00

I HAVE to have these Miu Miu's.

Have to!

BUT I think they are sold out.

I love them. Love, love, love them!

I love babies!

2009-08-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Baby Jaxon Ryder has arrived!

My close friend Lacey had her baby boy!

8-18-09

7 pounds, 0 ounces.

22 inches long: Long and lean like his Daddy!

I went to visit them at the hospital today.

Lacey, who only gained weight in her belly, looks absolutely amazing!

She had the baby in less than three hours, with no epidural!

My hero!

I felt so incredibly grateful that I got to see my friend in the hospital.

I wasn't on a plane, in another state, or commuting in my car!

Randy, Lacey and Jaxon...the new family!
Lace, Jaxon and me!

Gorgeous mama and baby!

Baby Jaxon Ryder (Lighting was weird)

Little Baby!

Fun finds

2009-08-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

I hit up Target today...

EVERY woman knows that means trouble, especially for the wallet!

I found some pretty great things for fantastic prices!

I have a few events coming up and I found a strapless black dress with an exposed zipper! A classic piece with a trendy touch! It was only $29.99. Dress it up with some amazing shoes and a statement necklace and you have a chic outfit!

I love leopard flats. I literally wore my last pair out. I had a hole in the sole.

Crazy.

Possibly!

I found this pair for $12.99. A simple, ballet flat.

These shoes look incredible with all of your classic pieces. I love wearing them with my jeans or cigarette pants!

And Gap introduced their new premium denim line this past week. If you go RIGHT NOW you get $20 off. The best part is that they are 60 bucks! Patrick Robinson, designer for Gap, spent over a year making sure that they used the best denim, and got the same fit and feel as the higher price lines are selling! Check them out! I have always loved my Gap and Old Navy jeans better than my Seven's and Paige's. Call me crazy!!